vendredi 27 avril 2012

Jellyfish closes down nuclear plant

In California, a jellyfish decided to close down a nuclear plant

It wrapped its tentacles around nuclear rods

and became more luminescent 
 than ever!

troops of jellyfish then bolted over to France

Where in the midst of the French elections, 
 Sarko, nuclear energy isn't even on the table.

Meanwhile, in Chernobyl, 26 years after the catastrophic meltdown,
scientists have discovered that by placing thousands of snails side by side
they will be able to create a dome that is more effective in blocking radioactivity than

Than the current plan of placing 3 Eiffel towers over the site
for a period of 1,000 years.


For many Chernobyl residents the wait for a decontaminated land will prove to be long and idle

The landscape gone, people will be part of a "wallscape"

That may be advantageous only to rabbits digestive systems.

The Nature and Rates of Excretion of Radioactive Breakdown Products of I131-Albumin in the Rabbit
F. Zizza, T. J. Campbell, and E. B. Reeve
From the Department of Medicine, University of Colorado Medical School, Denver. Dr. Zizza was a Research Fellow of the American Heart Association during this work.
From the Department of Medicine, University of Colorado Medical School, Denver.
Received March 30, 1959
When I131-albumin is given intravenously to rabbits, the radioactive breakdown products that are released into the plasma and urine can be extracted into acetone. Paper chromatography and paper electrophoresis show that about 80 per cent of these are I131-iodide and the remainder are organic I131-iodine compounds. When I131-iodide is given to rabbits taking iodide in their drinking water, the radioactivity is quantitatively excreted, without being accumulated in the tissues and without becoming attached to the plasma proteins. The rate of excretion can be defined by a first order rate process with a rate constant, a, ranging between 1 and 3day-1. The organic I131-iodine compounds liberated during the metabolism of I131-albumin can be closely matched by a mixture of the organic I131-iodine compounds liberated during the metabolism of I131-monoiodotyrosine, I131-diiodotyrosine, and the amino acids released by digestion from I131-albumin. These organic I131-iodine compounds are not accumulated in the body and their radioactivity does not become attached to the plasma proteins. Their radioactivity is excreted as fast or faster than that of I131-iodide, and, to a satisfactory approximation, the same equations describing the excretion of I131-iodide with the same constants may be used for describing the excretion of the organic I131-iodine. These results permit improved estimates of the distribution and catabolism of I131-albumin.

samedi 21 avril 2012

Burning Museums

Antonio Manfredi, director of the Casoria Contemporary Art Museum in Naples
Faced with a dismal budget that forced his museum employees to wash the car windows of their clients

 Has decided to take the extreme measure: burn the museum's paintings to protest a lack of funding.

Not suprisingly the director of the Uffizi museum in Florence
has decided to act accordingly. Having contacted the artist and the subject for approval -just as Mr. Manfredi- last Friday Boticelli and his Venus witnessed the burning of his masterpiece. When the artist was interviewed he stated, "I felt weary moving my bones after some centuries of idleness, but for a good cause, and so that Italians remember that art isn't free, I said 'what the heck, let's do it.'"
Venus, on the other hand, said with a soft chuckle: "I suppose you could say I've felt a chill being naked -I mean nude- for so many years. I love my body and it's a pity so many won't be able to see it, I mean the young people and future generations and stuff like that, but I think a little fire will feel good and I hope do good for Italia!"

The Birth of Venus, Boticelli

It was feared that the choice of the Medusa was more complicated; her spell could still be intact and thus bringing her back was a risk. However, the Medusa, keeping her eyes fixed to the black and white tiled floor said (over the hissing of the snakes in her hair), "I'ma reallya pleased to be here to see my painting burned! Don't get me wrong, I lova the expression of my face. But I no wanna see museum staff washing cars or windshields or whateva. It just pisses me off."

Then there was the little trio -remember the average height during the renaissance was 5'5"- all standing face to face like talking Egyptian. There was Piero, Federico and his wife, Signora Montefeltro. Federico, being a big art supporter, spoke out first: "I don't care if if this situation started with Berlusconi or now is a Monti problem. I don't wanna hear it's a north or south issue. Art has no boundries" he said, keeping his profile fixed on his wife's, "and if the economy is bad, so what. In my days we had problems too. I was a condottieri, a mercenary in charge. And sometimes we had to fight for what we believed in. I didn't allow my guys to wash the horses or anything because I made sure they was a paid for what they worked."
Piero della Francesca, standing behind Federico's wife, some say trying to wake her up, simply stated, "I couldn't have said it better. You can burn all my paintings, cazzo!"

There seems to be a change in the air regarding museum funding that is spreading beyond Italian borders. Culture is the first budget to be axed. At the National Gallery in London, Hans Aznavoor, a curator, has set out not only to invite Paolo Ucello, but the original combatants of Florence and Siena that figured in the Battle of San Romano. "I want all the warriors in their original armors to bring a torch and light up the painting. It's time people learn what real perspective is about!"

lundi 16 avril 2012

The Titanic

The Titanic
a silent novel by Jamesola Langola. 

Sam and Fred are two happy-go-lucky  dogs on the Titanic. Their master was Charles Randolf Macy the IIIrd. Everything was just swank: drinks were "a volonte" and the dogs even had foie gras as an appetizer. When the ship hit the iceberg things took a nasty turn and the dogs could smell the trouble in the air. they looked over the icy ledge and reminisced about their comfortable lives in New Jersey when their master would have  butler James take them to the kennel when Madam would go shopping. 

Sam resting during the Titanic's maiden voyage.

Further down on deck, Millicent and Jarvis, two pooches, contemplated who would take the
lifeboat as the orchestra played their last songs

Millicent and Jarvis were confused because they couldn't understand the exited voice of their excited
boss, who reverted to speaking Japanese.

Fortunately, Madame Wiggens and Ursula, two of the first class poodles, had a nose for lifeboats, and they offered advice to the young pooches.

Albeit stuffed with people!

There was little time left. Millicent looked at Jarvis, Jarvis at Millicent, and then they both looked
at the incredible stars that shone above them. Millicent pushed Jarvis, making a quick pounce and...

Stay tuned for the next thrilling episode of the Titanic                  (or Titanica). Do Millicent and Jarvis survive? Will Madame Wiggens find another solution for a lifeboat? Can Sam and Fred find happiness in their memories?

samedi 14 avril 2012

Expired Passport

Just a few days before an expected departure over the seas
I lay half asleep, ruminating with face pressed into the folds of my pillow
When some inner neuron coming from God knows where
Carried an alarm indicating that my passport was expired.
Wearily, feet searching for slippers, my body responded
to nocturnal commands.

I shuffled like Frankenstein's Bride
(my hair whipped up on the sides)
to the dark desk whereinith my Passport lie.

Damnation! The fatal date 
marked clearly in ink
belonged to another time in the past
It was a pill I had to swallow
And dilly dallying would serve no justice!
I would have to cast
a line
Emergency Passport.

Knowing that most mortals rarely check their Passports on a yearly basis,
Why? thought I,  couldn't my cherished government create a friendly reminder
so that 3 months before the DATE
one would be alerted to take a course of action.

Hence I wrote to the Department of State

Suggesting that a passport would contain a timed device
that meant that it would start smoldering 3 months before expiration.
To my surprise the State office accepted
Under the one condition that citizens must wear fireproof clothes and pajamas 

 Thanks to the State Department
I got the renewal in time and made it to my plane to
see the launching of the latest missile in North Korea
A giant missile in the shape of Kim Jong Il!
I never clapped so hard in my life
As Kim Jong soared over the skies!

The following day, however, my hands hurt so much
puffy and too tender for a handshake or touch
I went, thinking wisely for some needed relief:
little acupuncture needles in thy neck,
and my passport, firmly in my rear pocket.

jeudi 12 avril 2012

Elevator Talk

In Miami I took the elevator 7 times a day
But the first few days I had nothing to say
Finally I got less timid and launched  on the ground floor,"Hi, the Japanese are closing
their reactors, what will they do now with their uranium?
to a man with a small dog on leash
"Have a nice day!" he bowled!
I concluded international news must be avoided, so for the next 
person, on the 8th floor, I made it more personal:
"Do you know, M'am, yesterday I was painting a house
and by accident I kicked over a bucket of paint and it dripped over
the facade like a Jackson Pollack."
"Enjoy your Easter." she pinged at the bing of the opening doors.

On another occasion, coming down from the penthouse, the elevator stopped on the l7th floor.
A young boy holding a red lollypop walked in and I said, looking up
 at a hidden camera: "Hey, we're being filmed, do y'a know?
Security here knows everything we are doing. And in Florida you can get strip searched for just not wearing your seat belt!"
"I don't drive. Have a great day!" said the boy,skipping out with a red smile as soon as the doors opened.

After a week the elevator talk was wearing my nerves thin
Only with effort I held up my chin
 expecting to hear the dropping of a pin.
Having just read Darwin and Hegel I wanted to impart with
 these fleeting strangers, just something beyond, 
"Have a great day!"

Finally I decided the only way to breach the gap of social order and natural selection
was to knit, stitch and loop in the elevator.
Holding balls of wool and oversized needles 
able to make any witch weary

I knitted breathing deeply going down or up the dark shaft and
-aside from some strange looks from Miami muscle men-
I was showered with complements and smiles
My grin took the countenance of a Swiss Cheese.
And the elevator talk flowed like a good French wine.

PS: In the case of a stuck elevator it appears that Elevator Talk is elevated to another principle.

samedi 7 avril 2012

Pink Slime and White Coats

Pink Slime and White Coats

 According to a large body of work
our bodies work according to the environment.
If you wear a Wall Street Jacket
you are liable to save pennies in your bone bank

A simple doctor's jacket

Can make you a more detailed oriented person, regardless
our skills or background

A farmer's overalls

Will suffice to go fou fou for leek

A military uniform

Makes one more adept in the killing fields

And wearing a butcher's apron

Will make you a ground beef master

But in America when business outfits and science outfits come together 

Using Ammonia to sterilize and beef up sales

All in the name of Connective Tissue

Our bodywork is lost
The environment has been broken

The Ammonia burger has been created!

Ammonia burgers don't sound good
So some call them Pink Slime burgers!

If Coleridge (the author of Kubla Kahn) were alive today

Might not he close his eyes and see a pleasure dome and icy caves
while bitting down on a Pink Slime Burger?

Or would he see, after biting a chomp,
his demon lover?

Or a pig, flying over the dark chasm of humanity?