dimanche 21 septembre 2014

samedi 20 septembre 2014

Popeye Talk

An infinx apologiky is no humiligration
Tis not neskessary for exploitification
Once only adopicated me mind is set
Thwart all depressiagan feelings
That me oxbrain do it.



Twas that revolvigating plumber
A misfit of a donor
Disgustipated the kitchen owner
Till she put the infix in a hydrogen
bome-er.


Under the Whale, 1986







jeudi 11 septembre 2014

The Jewel and the Microwave



It was a mild Soviet Transcaucaucan afternoon
And Nakivechka pulled herself out of her bubbling jacuzzi
She put on her robe and swung a black scarf over her head
Revealing only her dark, eager eyes.

Her two children came running to meet her.
“The microwave is broken” they cried whilst the older sibling, Yesmut,
held on to a bag of unpopped microwaveable popcorn.
“Yesmut, Yilma! Go see if Alkisenko has a microwave and return this to the video store.” said Nakivechka, handing over a cassette and touching her upper brow that she had electrolysed that morning.

“Get with it mom, Alkisenko moved to Tadzhikistan and now sells fax machines.” retorted Yilma, the younger one, intently looking at his mom who was dripping from the jacuzzi. 
“Ok, forget it” she said, patting Yilma’s flattop haircut. “Tonight we will have Bokehra. Yesmut, you will go to Nagorno-Karabach and find Allilev. Here is some money. Take your motorcycles and be back quickly!”

“But Allilev is Crimean!” The two protested.

“Crimean, Mylastokian, Bylorussian or Semjem, you will go to Allilev and get the bokehrá.”



The children left quickly without looking back. Nakivechka sat down on her red bean bag and picked up an issue of CosmoRussia. She indexed to the article on “Careers for single Aberbaijanis” and she smiled thinking of what a surprise Yesmut and Yilma were in for.

(An "Under the Whale" reading circa 1986)

mercredi 10 septembre 2014

The Potato House


There is a house where only potatoes grow
On the walls and roof
The spuds thrive

A schoolhouse needs a teacher
A patio house needs a pool
a prefabricated house needs premeditation
And the potato house potatoes

If you sit in this patchless, sober space
And meditate myriads of 
Potato possibilities

Their forms so irregular yet in need 
Of being held in a hand
With dirty fingernails



Over time
The potato energy will collect
And as the lights of the sky dim
Bulbs will flash with the low intensity of fireflies
Crossing the horizon 
With the lightness of a dance company

samedi 6 septembre 2014

The Knee Defender




A snail has its shell







A tiger its teeth


A Samurai his sword
But the knee
That articulation
Capable of taking us 
up the Empire State Building or
Across the English Channel
The Knee, hath no defence. 
In life your knee can be in deep trouble, so much you 
get down on your knees
And when you're not well 
It's the Doctor's hammer that will fell




Slamming the knee cap


On a pretence to test the jerk
A sensitive galvanic reaction
That would lend envy to any stiff frog




Finally, a knee Tsar, a knight, has been invented

The Knee Defender has been crowned
Take it on an airplane
Whip it out at 30,000 feet
Clip it to your tray
Wait - don't grimace until the passenger in front makes a foray
To recline, I said recline, his stuffy airplane seat
And then your knee will feel like it's in a hotel suite!
Some of you hear the Knee Defender may be banned
Canned from airspace






Where except for first class, passenger proximity is the rule of the land


Fret not world travellers, the Perdu chicken company has made an offer to purchases 2.7 million knee defenders
On a trail basis: Indeed by clipping chicken legs together one saves 25% of space, translating into an 
additional 15,000 chickens per 3000 square feet of coop.
Studies are underway to identify other applications that the Knee Defender may have.