Early Hashtag

The earliest human hashtag has been discovered in the Awash Valley in Ethiopia, the same area where Lucy's bones where discovered in 1974.
After several months archeologists have deciphered the tag which says,
"Cannot find mammouth eggs" #HiSpeedBerthaCookTip

Despite close analysis of this message its true meaning remains opaque. Does the "mammouth egg" refer to a giant egg, possibly that of an ostrich or was the cranial capacity of australopithecus so limited that our ancestors actually thought that mammouths laid eggs?

A conference on early hashtags will be held in Greenland on August 5th and more revelations are expected.

The Botox Vending Machine

Most of us know the Vending Machine

Some consider them intimate 

Associates

Interchanging, exchanging

Dropping your Choice without

A Thank You or

A parachute

On a daily basis

The Vending Machine

Offers a smooth, even transaction

It's a masterpiece of movement in a box

Unless your number is caught

In the Piggy's curlycue whose mission

Is to eject your choice

And leaves it hanging for Eternity!

Vending Machines are everywhere!

They reproduce in silence

Appearing in unfathomable locations:

A tunnel, a forgotten corner, next to a cash machine 

Yet we forget how long they have been with us

Remains of prehistoric Vending Machines have been found

Be it the Mammouth Meat or Sandal Dispenser 

Evidence points to how these machines

Wheeled Mankind out of darkness

Paleolithic Vending Machine circa 160,000 B.C.

Our forefathers knew that

Hot Meals could not depend on a woman 

-Or a man

Even monarchs and politicians knew

And continue to exploit these instruments

The Queen of England addressing Heads of State. This lavish dinner was 

served using only the latest Vending Machines. (2004)

But some of us remember how beautiful they were

Like elegant Cartier jewellery shops

The Vending Machine came first

Its goods second

Designers worked to build a trust

That even an expired Hershey bar would not spoil

The intellectuals 

(Always the intellectuals)

Dreamt of a way for

Books to be available in the desert or Amazon

The Book O Mat made this possible

At any hour, at any time

You could run out 

And read Heinline

And for those who think porcelain or crystal

Need to be delivered with delicate hands

You are right!

This machine, designed to be placed in households

Avoids marital abuse:

No more flinging plates at your spouse

The Love Dispenser

Breaks all tension with couples

Even those with histories of long abuse have 

Have basted this Dispenser with Merits

Today some say Vending Machines are out of mode

Yet every year sees new innovations!

This Botox dispenser has not taken a wrinkle

Available only in Doctors' waiting rooms

The lines continue to grow.

American Botox Dispenser, 1912