samedi 11 février 2017

New line of Ivanka Trumka products

Ivanka Trumpka line of new products will be shortly available. Order them directly from the White House.

1. Ivanka Rockity Rocking Chair

This wonderful model is designed for its user to see alternate realities.
Whether on your front porch, your living room or your office, the IRRC XM17, 
designed with rapid action high technology functions will whip your visual spectrum from 
the floor to the ceiling or the stars in .005 seconds. Not sure the Big Dipper has 7 or 17 stars? Still wondering if 2 + 2 = 5? Have no more doubts for the mere price of $10,800.

2. Ivanka Me your Honorika Voodoo Judge

This life size hand made doll from the finest Austrian felt from Styria (Arnold Schwarenegger's home province), can be remodelled to resemble any Supreme Court Justice. It comes with authentic rags from all the Supreme Court judges and a list of favorite quotes that need to be recited whilst sticking its body with long needles. (Not included.) Use it to steer Supreme Court decisions your way. A steal at $10,800.

3. Eyevanka Eye-Wanderer Drops

This bottle of drops is finely elaborated from the extracts of fresh refugees from the banned 7 nations that our government in 2017 has decreed. It lets your eyes wander over bright shorelines without having to squint. It comes with a handy pre-programmed cell phone to call the Coast Guard when you've spotted that sinking refugee boat. $10,800

4. Ivanka Fly-Larva Kit

Tired of living in an insect-free environment due to over-spraying and overuse of pesticides? 
Tired of saying "Like fly shit in pepper" and nobody knowing what you're talking about?
Well it's time to Make America Fly Again with the Ivanka Fly-Larva kit!
Effective within hours, your house will be buzzing with life again using just one spoonful of our specially selected larva. (Some shoppers recommend purchasing this with our Colorado "High Lama", shipped from Colorado with 250 grams of pure THC, this combo is guaranteed to heighten your patriotic sensibilities.)
Recommended for children over 14. $10,800 for the combo kit. 

Free shipping available on all items purchased.

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