Good evening Elephanteers ! To make Reality great again we have decided to start this evening with a story of “Capitain” James Cook, who died 288 years ago on February l4, l779.
But before we listen to this real past event, I wish to share a dream I had the other night: I was in Venice, carrying an ancient Etruscan vase, and my job was to water the plants in the streets. Yes this was an interesting, satisfying job except for the cumbersome and delicate vase, but it was real, that is to say the dream was real! Was it related to Valentine’s Day? Or the overflow at the Oroville Dam in California that necessitated the use of emergency spillway for the first time since its conception to avoid flooding after 5 years of drought and 6 weeks of rain. No matter. The point is that we can bring back reality also by dreaming!
Back to our Captain Cook, he is well known for his 3 Pacific voyages through uncharted waters that he undertook on the HM BArk Endeavor are well recorded. What is less known is that he was the 2nd of 8 children of James Cook, a farm laborer from Ednam in Roxburghshire and his mother, Grace Pace, was from Thonaby-on –Tees in Yorkshire where they lived. Legend has it that Grace cooked a wicked fruity Brack cake that the owners at the Dog and Gun Inn often ordered from her. Now young James the 2nd(James had an older brother James and a sister followed by two younger James brothers and so on) hated nothing more than his mother’s fruit cake. His mother forced him to knead the dough for months on end and James would do this looking out a small window with a view of the sea. Historians speculate that it was at this tender age that James’ desire for adventure developed but his younger brother hid a drawing that his older brother had made depicting a fruitcake with an X slashed over it. Art historians, on the other hand, cite this as early inspiration for Jean Michel Basquiat’s graffiti paintings, for it is well known that Jean Michel, discovered by Andy Warhol, was a fan of Captain Cook.
To make a long story short, Mr Walker, who was a Quaker preacher, noted in his confessional journal that young Cook at the age of 9 he swore that he would leave house as far as the eye could see and never return because he abhorred fruitcake.
*Why does Cook’s signature have two full loops in it ? He learned to sign his name on a ship ! (J M Basquiat signs with loops too. Ate Fruit Loops)
Staying with the same subject of great travellers let’s talk about Patricia Hurst, who in l974 was abducted by the Symbionese Liberation Army and some months later most famously took part in an armed bank robbery that was filmed by security cameras. Patty, the grand daughter of William Randolph Hurst of the Hurst publishing empire, apparently fell under the Stockholm syndrome by falling in love with Willie Wolfe. She nevertheless was caught and went to jail (most of the members of the SLA died in a fire) and she was pardoned by Clinton in the 90’s.
Hearst has moved on and today travels extensively as a professional dog trainer. She flies her dogs in her private jet and recenty with Tuggy and Rubi, she has won prizes, most recently, at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show wearing a striped top and black pants.
At the show, before the judge made her final decision, Hearst Shaw jumped to her feet. She just knew. Tuggy won best of breed, and Rubi took runner-up honors as best of opposite sex.
But it wasn't enough for her. She pulled out an AK47 and pointing at the Judges said "Don't call me Patty, call me Tania (her former SLA name). I want to walk on the air right now and for me to do that you better give Rubi best life-time achievement award! There's no reason they should fall short of your bullshit standards!”
Needless to say the judges acquiesced and Mrs Hearst, wearing her striped top and black pants, proudly walked down the runway with her French Bulldogs to the applause and cheers of thousands of onlookers.
And now to move on to speak about a little about Ivanka and her products who flashed Prime Minister Trudeau followed by 2 short poems on Versoix inspired by Jarmush’s film Paterson.